CATCH-22 (1970)

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CATCH-22

Alan Arkin, Martin Balsam, Richard Benjamin, Art Garfunkel, Jack Gifford, Anthony Perkins, Jon Voight, Orson Welles, Bob Newhart, Charles Grodin, Martin Sheen, Olimpia Carlisi, Susanne Benton, Marcel Dalio / From the Novel by Joseph Heller / Screenplay  Buck Henry  / Art Direction  Harold Michelson / Editor  Sam O’Steen / Cinematography  David Watkin / Producers  John Calley & David Ransohoff / Director  Mike Nichols

 

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-Let me see if I got this straight. In order to be grounded, I’ve got to be crazy, and I must be crazy to keep flying. But, if I ask to be grounded.. that means I’m not crazy any more and I have to keep flying.

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-You’ve got it! That’s Catch-22.

-That’s some Catch, that Catch-22.

– It’s the best there is!

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LT.MINDERBENDER – We’re gonna come out of this war rich!YOSSARIAN –  You’re gonna come out of this war rich. We’re gonna come out dead.

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GENERAL DREEDLE  –  I said take him out and shoot him. Take Major Danby out and shoot him!

I think you’d better wait a minute, Dad. I don’t think you can shoot him.

GENERAL DREEDLE –  Why the hell can’t I? Why not? You mean I can’t shoot whoever I want to? Is that a fact?

Lt.COLONEL MOODUS –  I’m afraid it is Dad.

GENERAL DREEDLE –  You think you’re pretty smart don’t you? Just because my daughter married you for God knows what bizarre reason

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Lt.COL KORN –  All you have to do is be our pal.

COLONEL CATHCART –  Say nice things about us.

Lt.COL KORN –  Tell the folks at home what a good job we’re doing. Take our offer Yossarian.

COLONEL CATHCART –  Either that or a court-martial for desertion.

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Lt.MINDBINDER –  You don’t make any sense. You’ve got a persecution complex.

YOSSARIAN –  Damn right.

Lt.MINDBINDER – You admit it!

YOSSARIAN –  I admit I’m being persecuted.. by them!

Lt.MINDBINDER –  Who specifically is ‘them’?

YOSSARIAN – All of them! Who do you think?

Lt.MINDBINDER –  I have no idea.

YOSSARIAN – Then how do you know thay aren’t?

CAPT. AARDVARK –  That’s sheer.. what-do-you-call-it– Sophistry.

YOSSARIAN –  Like hell it is. Those bastards are trying to kill me.

Lt.MINDBINDER – No one is trying to kill you sweetheart. Now eat your dessert like a good boy.

YOSSARIAN – Oh yeah, then why are they shooting at me Milo?

Lt.MINDBINDER – They’re shooting at everyone Yossarian

YOSSARIAN – And what difference does that make?

Lt.MINDBINDER – Look Yossarian, suppose, I mean just suppose, everyone thought the same way you do.

YOSSARIAN – Then I’d be a damned fool to thing anything different.

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catch-22-12OLD MAN –  You all crazy!

CAPT.NATLEY –  Why are we crazy?

OLD MAN – Because you don’t know how to stay alive.. and that’s the secret of life.

CAPT.NATLEY –  But we have a war to win.

OLD MAN –  Italy will win it.

CAPT.NATLEY –  America’s the strongest nation on earth. The American fighting man is the best trained, the equpped, the best fed..

OLD MAN –  Italy on the other hand is one of the weakest nations on earth, and the Italian fighting man is hardly equipped at all. That’s why my country is doing so well, while yours is doing so poorly.

CAPT.NATLEY –  That’s silly! First Italy was occupied by Germans and now by us. You call that doing well?

OLD MAN –  Of course I do. The Germans are being driven out, and we are still here. In a few years you’ll be gone and we will still be here. Italy is a very poor, weak country, yet that is what makes us so strong. Strong enough to survive this war and still be in existence, lonh after your country has been destroyed.

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CAPT.NATLEY –  What are you talking about? America’s not going to be destroyed.

OLD MAN –  Never?

CAPT.NATLEY –  Well..

OLD MAN –  Rome was destroyed. Greece was destroyed. Persia was destroyed. Spain was destroyed. All great countries are destroyed. Why not yours? How much longer do you think your country will last? Forever? 

CAPT.NATLEY –  Forever is a long time, I guess.

OLD MAN –  Very long.

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CAPT.NATLEY – Don’t you have any principals?

OLD MAN – Of course not!

CAPT.NATLEY – No morality?

OLD MAN – I’m a very moral man, and Italy is a very moral country. That is why we will certainly come out on top again, if we succeed in being defeated.

CAPT.NATLEY – You talk like a madman.

OLD MAN – But I live like a sane one. I was a facist when Mussolini was on top. Now that he has been deposed, I am anti-facist. When the Germans were here, I was fanatically pro-German. Now I’m fanatically pro-American,. You’ll find no more loyal partisan in all of Italy than myself.

CAPT.NATLEY –  You’re a shameful opportunist! What you don’t understand is that it’s better to die on your feet, than to live on your knees.

OLD MAN – You have it backwards – It’s better to live on your feet, than to die on your knees. I know.

CAPT.NATLEY – How do you know?

OLD MAN – Because I am 107 years old.  How old are you?

CAPT.NATLEY – I’ll be 20 in January.

OLD MAN – If you live.

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DANBY – Yossarian!

YOSSARIAN – I can do it, Danby!

TAPPMAN – They’ll catch you! They’ll bring you back!

YOSSARIAN – I can do it!

DANBY – This is insane!

YOSSARIAN – I can do it!

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TAPPMAN – What about your clothes?

YOSSARIAN –  They’ll never recognize me without my uniform!

DANBY – You’ll be on the run with no friends! You’ll live in constant danger of betrayal!

YOSSARIAN – I live that way now.

DANBY – Yossarian, for God’s sake, hurry up!

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The Lady from Shanghai (1947)

THE LADY FROM SHANGHAI

(1947)

Orson Welles – Michael O’Hara / Rita Hayworth – Elsa Bannister / Everett Sloan – Arthur Banniser / Glenn Anders – George Grisby / From the Novel ‘If I Die Before I Wake’ Sherwood King / Screenplay Orson Welles / Produced & Directed Orson Welles

Till all about, the sea was made of sharks..

Lured by the sensuous Lady from Shanghai (Rita Hayworth), Michael O’Hara (Orson Welles) is drawn into a web of malicious back-stabbing & a heady combination of Raymond Chandler film noir and dizzying German expressionism. Welles convinced the Studio bosses to let him make this ‘simple little murder movie’ , but the poor fellows must have screamed blue murder when they saw the finished product. It’s not a film that runs all that smoothly, but the quality and sheer oddness of the piece elevates it high above it’s formulaic contemporaries. Welles & Hayworth only had one more year of their marriage to go in 1947, but the lingering intensity of Hayworth’s close-ups betray nothing short of giddy adoration. The gorgeously inventive opening scene has Welles & Hayworth seemlessly rolling from literary narration to bantering dialogue, in a fashion reminiscent of Richard III. Sergio Leone made a whole career out of imitating Welles sweaty close-ups on Glenn Anders, and other influences on modern filmmaking are too numerous to list. Orson’s decision to give his lead character an Irish brogue is a little jarring at first, but before long it makes perfect sense, especially when we come to his mesmerizing ‘shark monologue’, which more than finds echoes in Quint’s chilling Indianapolis tale in Jaws.

BANNISTER – Well, Michael!

MICHAELWell, Mr. Bannister?

BANNISTERMy wife´s lost her sense of humour, and you´ve lost your sense of adventure. Sit down and have a drink. Give him a drink, George. And don´t look so shocked. Michael may not be in the Social Register, but then neither are you…anymore.

MICHAELIs this what you folks do for amusement? Sit around toasting marshmallows and call each other names? If you´re so anxious for me to join the game, l´d be glad to. I have a few names l´d like to be calling you myself.

BANNISTER Oh, but, Michael, that isn´t fair. You´re bound to lose the contest. We´ll have to give you a handicap, Michael. You should know what George knows about me…if you really want to call me names…

BANNISTERAnd, Michael…if you think George´s story is interesting… you ought to hear the one about how Elsa got to be my wife..

ELSADo you want me to tell him what you´ve got on me, Arthur?

MICHAEL Do you know…once, off the hump of Brazil… I saw the ocean so darkened with blood it was black… and the sun fainting away over the lip of the sky. We´d put in at Fortaleza… and a few of us had lines out for a bit of idle fishing. It was me had the first strike. A shark it was. Then there was another. And another shark again. Till all about, the sea was made of sharks… and more sharks still. And no water at all. My shark had torn himself from the hook .. and the scent or maybe the stain it was, and him bleeding his life away… drove the rest of them mad..

MICHAELThen the beasts took to eating each other. In their frenzy.. they ate at themselves. You could feel the lust of murder like a wind stinging your eyes. And you could smell the death reeking up out of the sea. I never saw anything worse.. until this little picnic tonight.

MICHAELAnd you know there wasn´t one of them sharks in the whole crazy pack that survived. l´ll be leaving you now.

BANNISTERGeorge, that´s the first time anyone ever thought enough of you to call you a shark. If you were a good lawyer, you´d be flattered.

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PRODUCTION

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 QUINT’s INDIANAPOLIS FISH TALE

‘Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin’ back from the island of Tinian to Leyte… just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn’t see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that when you’re in the water, Chief? You tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn’t know, was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn’t even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin’, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know, it was kinda like old squares in the battle like you see in the calendar named “The Battle of Waterloo” and the idea was: shark comes to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin’ and hollerin’ and screamin’ and sometimes the shark go away… but sometimes he wouldn’t go away. Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark… he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be living… until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin’ and the hollerin’, they all come in and they… rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don’t know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday morning, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain’s mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up, down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he’d been bitten in half below the waist. Noon, the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us. He swung in low and he saw us… he was a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw us and he come in low and three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and starts to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened… waitin’ for my turn. I’ll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water; 316 men come out and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.’

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