My Wonderful World of Slapstick
MY WONDERFUL WORLD OF SLAPSTICK
by Buster Keaton & Charles Samuels
Excerpt from Chapter One :
’If I say I “officially joined” my folks’ act in 1899 it is because my
father always insisted that I’d been trying to get into the family
act unofficially meaning unasked, unwanted, and unbilled prac-
tically from the day I was born.
Having no baby sitter, my mother parked me in the till of a
wardrobe trunk while she worked on the stage with Pop. Accord-
ing to him, the moment I could crawl I headed for the footlights.
“And when Buster learned to walk/’ he always proudly explained
to all who were interested and many who weren’t, “there was no
holding him. He would jump up and down in the wings, make
plenty of noise, and get in everyone’s way. It seemed easier to let
him come out with us on the stage where we could keep an eye.
“At first I told him not to move. He was to lean against the side
wall and stay there. But one day I got the idea of dressing him
up Hke myself as a stage Irishman with a fright wig, slugger
whiskers, fancy vest, and over-size pants. Soon he was imitating
everything I did, and getting laughs.
“But he got nothing at all at the first Monday show we played
at Bill Dockstader’s Theatre in Wilmington, Delaware. Dock-
stader told me to leave him out of the act. But he had a special
matinee for kiddies on Wednesday and suggested that children,
knowing no better, might be amused by Buster’s antics.”
On Wednesday Bill noticed that their parents also seemed
amused and suggested I go on at all performances. Pop said he
didn’t want to use me in the night show as I had to get my rest
like any small child. Dockstader then offered to pay the act ten
dollars a week extra. My father agreed to try it I had no trouble
sleeping through the morning and played night and day with the act.
Even in my early days our turn established a reputation for
being the roughest in vaudeville. This was the result of a series
of interesting experiments Pop made with me. He began these by
carrying me out on the stage and dropping me on the floor.
Next he started wiping up the floor with me. When I gave no sign of
minding this he began throwing me through the scenery, out into
the wings, and dropping me down on the bass drum in the orches-
tra pit. The people out front were amazed because I did not cry.
There was nothing mysterious about this. I did not cry because I
wasn’t hurt. All little boys like to be roughhoused by their fathers.
They are also natural tumblers and acrobats. Because I was also a born
hambone, I ignored any bumps or bruises I may have got at first
on hearing audiences gasp, laugh, and applaud. There is one more
thing: little kids when they fall haven’t very far to go. I suppose
a psychologist would call it a case of self-hypnosis.
Before I was much bigger than a gumdrop I was being featured
in our act, The Three Keatons, as “The Human Mop.” One of the
first things I noticed was that whenever I smiled or let the audi-
ence suspect how much I was enjoying myself they didn’t seem to
laugh as much as usual.
I guess people just never do expect any human mop, dishrag,
beanbag, or football to be pleased by what is being done to him.
At any rate it was on purpose that I started looking miserable,
humiliated, hounded, and haunted, bedeviled, bewildered, and at
my wit’s end. Some other comedians can get away with laughing
at their own gags. Not me. The public just will not stand! for it.
And that is all right with me. All of my life I have been happiest
when the folks watching me said to each other, “Look at the poor
dope?” Because of the way I looked on the stage and screen the
public assumed that I felt hopeless and unloved in my personal
life. Nothing could be farther from the fact As long back as I can
remember I have considered myself a fabulously lucky man. From
the beginning I was surrounded by interesting people who loved
fun and knew how to create it. I’ve had few dull moments and
not too many sad and defeated ones…’
‘My Wonderfull World of Slapstick’
DaCapo Press (1960)
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